Crossing The Wire
by Wolfs
Summary: An unexpected wedding, a thrilling past, and an uncertain future. How long can two people spend getting their wires crossed? (PAILY)
1. Seemed like a good idea at the time

**A/N - Okay I know I shouldn't be doing this and that I'm supposed to be writing Hunter, but it has such a heavy storyline and I'm really struggling right now. I needed something light and fun, so this will be my less effort and just for fun fic when I just need to play. Hope you enjoy either way.**

X...X

Something slid into place in the back of my head right then as I sat there staring at Emily fields in white lace and soft chiffon that kept brushing against her exotic skin in the gentle summer breeze. She was glowing, the ambient light brilliant enough to make the green-hilled backdrop look pale in comparison. The blue sky reflected in her dark eyes, even though they were almost obscured by the expression lines caused by that heart stopping smile. She was a vision of a bride; a Greek goddess swathed in radiance and intense allure.

She took my breath away.

I then also realize that I have been completely unable to breathe for a while now. Obviously I was still pulling air into my lungs, but metaphorically nothing filtered into my blood. I have been dying a slow and agonizing death.

I clench my fists tightly as I remember the first time Emily Fields stole the oxygen from my veins...

X……………………X

"Hey McCullers, what are you staring at?" Rachel, my bouncy best friend, was leaning in close to my ear so I'd be able to hear her over the audio vibrations produced by the massive speakers mounted throughout the dark nightclub.

"I think it's more a case of who she's staring at..." Brian, our slightly effeminate partner chirped on my other shoulder, his brows wagging in direction towards a tall and slender girl with sleek black hair ruffling around her collar, standing by the bar, laughing with a small collection of friends.

I sighed.

"Why is that bitch here?" Rachel bristled and stepped forward slightly as if to block the path between myself and the girl a few feet away, though she hadn't even noticed me.

I planned on keeping it that way.

"It's a public place, Rache, she can be here if she wants." I huffed half-heartedly and turned to walk away, my two friends quickly falling in step.

"Oh honey, you need another shot." Brian tugged on my arm, but I shook my head. I wasn't in the party mood anymore.

"Look, you guys have fun. I'm just gonna catch a cab home." They started to protest but I had already turned to walk towards the entrance.

It had been about two months since Cassie had ripped out my heart and painted the walls with my blood. It might be a morbid image, but I found it quite fitting. Cassie was a murderer of love, happiness and trust. The latter was the biggest problem seeing as how I straight up walked in on her in my bed with some other chick. I would have laughed had I not been shocked into silence by the irony. I honestly thought shit like that only happened in bad late night movies.

I was a walking cliché and my life was a joke, so I decided to simply walk my clichéd ass home. If only I had bothered to pay attention to where I was going.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" I froze and stared wide-eyed as the girl apologized profusely while trying to wipe her drink from my pants and the bottom of my shirt. I had bumped blindly into her, but I couldn't help but to simply watch as she sunk down to her knees in front of me, her dark curls obscuring her face, and furiously rubbed the denim around my groin, oblivious to how things appeared to bystanders.

It took a few unusually silent seconds and a firm tap to her shoulder as one of her friends loudly cleared her throat before the girl finally clicked. She ceased her movements and looked sheepishly up at me.

Wow.

I was met with the most alluring pair of dark brown eyes, slightly glassy from the alcohol, that shone above the most adorable dimples sitting to the sides of a brightly innocent smile. This girl was unbelievably gorgeous and yet held such a gentle aura about her. She was the girl next door straight off the silver screen, but she was dressed like she was headed for the red carpet. I observed as she slowly stood and watched each inch of black satin slide into place, hugging a toned curve here or letting a patch of caramel skin show over there. The material sloped down delicately to where it ended just above her knees, allowing delicately defined legs to show clearly where she stood in her short heels.

I felt the oxygen seep from my body without my permission, drawn out by her like some oxygen vampire. I must have looked quite the mixture between pissed off, amused and dazed because her expression quickly morphed into shameful concern. It was adorable.

"I am such an idiot..." She shook her head shyly before lightly smacking another one of her friends on the arm for giggling at the awkward situation.

I shook my head then as well as I recovered my senses and attempted my best charming grin at her, desperately hoping I didn't look like the Cheshire Cat on cocaine.

"It was my fault, really. I'm sorry." I stepped slightly closer to her and reached for the empty glass in her hand. "Let me at least buy you another drink... A replacement drink… For the one I spilled." I clenched my jaw hard at my own awkwardness.

She pulled a deep breath into her smiling lips as she prepared to respond, but was untimely interrupted as a blonde girl with insanely piercing blue eyes walked up to her and pulled her closer by the waist, then whispered something in her ear. I could notice the body language of the whole group of girls change and stiffen at the presence of the newcomer, yet remarkably they all stepped closer to this individual as if inexplicably drawn by magnetism. To me she was a little intimidating and obtrusive, the way she leaned in closer to the goddess speaking of intimacy, while the hold on her body was utterly possessive.

Then her icy gaze shifted to me and I swear I could see a threat flashing through them, despite the thin-lipped smile she held. I felt terribly uncomfortable.

"Hi." She said, and that was it. There was no interest in her voice or warmth in her eyes. She didn't even hold my gaze for longer than the second it took her to utter that one single syllable word. She was already walking away, except she was taking the intriguing beauty with her and beckoning the other three girls to follow. The object of my interest glanced back over her shoulder briefly and mouthed the word 'sorry' silently at me before disappearing deep into the club.

"Well, hi to you too..." I mumble and shrug. So much for a distraction. I swing around in the direction of the door again, but I'm quickly halted in my tracks as I'm met with a familiar set of cat-like green eyes. You've got to be kidding me, I thought, really concerned about the universe's sick sense of humor.

"Hey beautiful." Cassie smiled. Two months and not a word. Two months and not a single sighting. Two months of alcohol and regret seeping from my pores on frequent hungover mornings. Two months. Two months and she's here in front of me with that dangerously devious smile, calling me beautiful.

"I was just on my way out." I try desperately to push past her, but her long fingers quickly lock around my wrist.

"Paige, stop. Please. I'm sorry. Can't we talk?" Her mouth was pleading, but her eyes were smiling. I knew I couldn't trust her.

"We have nothing to talk about, Cassie. Really, it's fine. I'm just gonna go." I try to make my escape once again, this time only to be quickly intercepted by Rachel and Brian, both shooting daggers at my ex as they escorted me back into the club.

"Dear God almighty, can I just..." I started to rage at my friends, glancing from the one to the other before finding myself placed in front of the slinky black dress from before.

"Leave?" She arched her brows curiously at me and let just the hint of a pout form on her lips. "But your friends promised me you'd replace my drink."

To say I was confused was putting it lightly, but the tall beauty didn't give me a chance to process or figure out how my friends had been talking to the hottest girl in the club about me. I was distracted by the velvet feel of her fingers laced with mine and the sweet scent of her perfume as she pulled ahead of me towards the bar.

"I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate me buying you a drink." I spoke loudly in her direction as both of us came to rest our arms on top of the bar. Her reaction to my remark made my cheeks glow.

"My girlfriend?" She coughed in surprise before her face contorted in utter amusement. "Ali? She's my friend. It's definitely not like that." She giggled and I felt my heart both melt and break at the same time.

Of course she's not actually gay. A lot of straight girls like hanging out in gay clubs because they can enjoy themselves without having guys harass them. Why would I ever have even thought of such a possibility. I smirked like an idiot and allowed her to place her order before I added my own absentmindedly, forgetting for a minute that I was actually trying to leave and go home.

"Well, can I expect some ripped boyfriend to bust in here within the next few minutes, ready to kick my ass then?" I joked and clicked my beer bottle against her tumbler, then took a great big swig in an effort to stop the mocking voices in the back of my head.

"Maybe." She replied casually with a shrug and a suspicious twinkle in her eye, but soon smiled slyly as she eyed me and added, "Wanna dance?"

"Why not. I love living on the edge." And apparently I also really loved acting like a fool. I had no idea what I was doing, but I could not deny this girl a single thing.

We found a spot on the floor and I could feel the bass and beat drown out my senses soon after. I swayed lightly, remaining reserved in my movements, my eyes closely following every dip of this woman's hips. The flashing lights started to deceive my eyes as I could swear that she kept moving imperceptibly closer. Soon I could smell her scent again, the floral fragrance causing my nostrils to flare like a wolf on the hunt. Her touch came after; feather light and playing across the expanse of skin on my arm exposed by my vest. Her smile drew my eyes back to her face and I was taken aback by the darkness her gaze held.

I swallowed. Hard.

"Emily." She breathed against my ear after stepping even closer, the warmth spreading through my veins like liquid fire. "And you're welcome."

"Paige." I replied as nonchalantly as I could muster, then pulled back to look at her skeptically. "Welcome for what?"

"Your ex - the one with the black hair and feline eyes?" Emily smirked close to my face. I nodded in confusion.

"Well, she just stormed out in a huff." She smirked even deeper while I frowned at her, finally catching her drift as she waved her hand at the closeness of our bodies and I was surprised to find that we were still moving to the music, our hips swaying together rhythmically.

Finally I allowed myself to relax and laugh. The moment was so unexpected and yet so deeply gratifying that I finally felt like I could breathe again. I had managed to piss off my cheating ex and meet the most beautiful woman in existence in one go.

"Thank you. That was really..." I laughed and shook my head as I trailed off.

"Sweet?" She perked up like an adorable puppy and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to follow through.

"Bitchy. But sweet works too." I laughed easily as her expression went from indignation to delightful enjoyment in a second. Emily was like a breath of fresh air in the dank space of my mind.

"I guess having gorgeous straight friends has its perks." I added a second later in an attempt to keep the conversation going, not sure our dancing would continue to be appropriate after it came to light that Emily was only helping me get a jab in with my ex.

"Oh yeah, it definitely does. I never go anywhere without my girls." Her reply bubbled forth with enthusiasm, causing me to shake my head.

"No, I mean for a gay girl, it's handy having one of you around." I attempted my clumsy explanation before watching her expression twist into mock surprise.

"Are you asking me out?" She gasped dramatically, causing my cheeks to flush hot.

"What? No. I meant... Like..." I found myself stumbling horribly over my words, but forcefully composed myself and tried again. "It's handy for a gay girl, like myself, to have a straight girl, like you, around to help in making exes jealous."

Emily looked at me weirdly then, as if I had magically grown a second head while I was talking.

Then the blonde appeared. Again. I'll call her the Ice Queen because people seemed to part and shiver as she walked by. She spared me one lingering look and I would have matched it, had I not felt my throat run dry as she kept my gaze while softly kissing Emily's shoulder, before lightly dragging her lips up her neck.

"Em, babe, let's go. I'm bored." The words were spoken to Emily, but her eyes were settled on me.

I should have been thankful to avert my gaze from Emily's throat as it swallowed rapidly, but I still could not keep myself ignorant to the look of longing that crossed Emily's features. When Emily let her gaze drift back to meet mine, her eyes spoke of the demons she was struggling with internally. She leaned back and nodded to her companion and the two started pulling back into the crowd.

But just before they disappeared completely, Emily shot me one last look I could only describe as hopeful, then shouted over the music, "I'm just like you, Paige!"

For days afterward I mulled her last words over and again in my mind. What exactly did she mean? How could I and the beautiful stranger be anything alike?

Days came and went, night turned to day and day to night, stars twinkled and rain fell hard, and still I could not forget her face.


	2. I'd rather lose my head than my heart

_Present Day_

There's a specially intense ache in a person's gut when you're alone and lonely at a wedding. That ache is even more poignant when you're watching the woman of your dreams - the one you truly believe to be your soul mate - getting married to someone else.

I'm not sure when exactly I became a sap of such magnitude, but there was no cure for this feeling. Emily Fields held my heart, except as I sit here watching her radiant smile cast at another woman, it feels more like she is skewering my heart with the heels of her wedding shoes.

Still I was unable to breathe.

 _Back to the good stuff_

I never saw Emily again.

For months she haunted my dreams and half of my waking life, but eventually her features faded somewhat and her voice became static in the back of my mind. After a while only the dreams remained.

Daily routines came and went as I finished working on my portfolio while working long admin hours at the studio. Most evenings I also pulled shifts at the bar down the block from my loft in order to make ends meet. Sleep was a luxury I couldn't afford and socializing was mainly restricted to the work environment.

Yet I still managed to hook up with a pretty little art student that couldn't get enough of my tattoos when I served her and her friends one Wednesday night. Shay was a petite brunette with bright green eyes and a quirky personality. She had a mischievous sense of adventure that was infectious and the kind of free spirit that helplessly drew in my caged soul in need of vindication.

We've been dating now for about six weeks and I am content. She understands the demands of my current life and my limited time and enthuses the relationship with a sort of exuberance, but kept it low maintenance. A paradox, perhaps, but it works.

Currently I'm sitting at my workbench fiddling with a design that I've been working on for a few weeks. For some reason the sketch speaks to me on a deeper level, but I can't quite pinpoint exactly what the connection was about. It depicted the bust of a beautiful woman wearing the coat of a wolf, the top of the head resting menacingly over her own like some hunter's trophy.

"It's looking great, babe." Shay murmured in my ear as she leaned over my shoulder from behind. I always felt self conscious when she studied my work as she was a truly talented artist herself, though her medium was mostly oil on canvas.

"I don't know why you stress so much about it. You can put it on my body right now and I'd love it." She pressed a reassuring kiss to the side of my neck and I smiled, though a deep scowl settled on my brows at the same time.

"I don't know. This piece is just... different." I gave it one last glance and closed my sketchpad before getting up and reaching for my jacket. Shay had other plans though as I found myself pressed back against my desk with her lean body pressing her weight into mine, her hands sliding up my back underneath my shirt. I canted my head to the side as her lips assaulted my neck with hot kisses, though as soon as I felt her hands slide over my hips to the front of my jeans I had to protest.

"Babe, I have to go to work..." I whined lightly and wriggled under her touch. I was already running late for my shift at the bar and as much as I'd rather stay home and get laid, I needed the cash.

"Fine fine..." She smirked and slowly moved away from me, her fingers fiddling purposefully with the hem of her shirt, allowing me to catch a glimpse or two of her lightly tanned skin. "I'll just be here, in your bed... Naked." She flashed that devilish grin she always got when she was up to no good and started ascending the stairs.

"And probably asleep by the time I get home!" I called after her before dashing through the door and off to The Shack for my evening shift.

It only took me about five minutes to get there at a steady walk, but it was plenty time to muse over my life as I tend to do far too often. Rachel always says that I overthink too much to really enjoy anything, though I was trying very hard to simply go with the flow. My relationship with Shay was a prime example of this. We were serious enough for random sleepovers, but not quite serious enough for spare keys to be cut. I preferred it that way. She kept the loneliness at bay and served as a wonderfully warm security blanket, a fact that often has me feeling bad. She probably deserves better than what I have to offer, yet I'm not quite willing or ready to let her go.

The problem is that there's a very vital emotion that alludes me. An emotion that seems crucial to the success of a relationship, but I can simply not wrap my fingers around it no matter how hard I grasp. I have only ever heard stories of this emotion - they call it love.

I was not in love, but I was happy. Can't that be enough?

"It's going to be another slow night." Rachel worked as a waitress at The Shack and we usually work the same shift a couple times a week. I enjoyed working with her as we all share tips, and with Rachel's flaming tresses and skin-tight jean shorts she always managed to rake in good favors.

She also always manages to save me from deathly boredom on nights like tonight.

I idly wiped the counter and glanced about the bar, grimacing at a couple of young male office clerks as they tried to flirtatiously communicate with a pair of sorority bunnies one table over. Again I was amazed at how stereotypical this life was. I constantly felt trapped in a straight to television B-grade film.

"And don't forget Bond over there." Rachel chortled as if reading my thoughts and pointed to the end of the bar counter where a well-groomed man sipped his whiskey. He came in every Wednesday and Thursday night, claiming to be passing through town on business. Any unsuspecting woman, so inclined, that dared to approach him would usually be regaled with stories of dangerous adventures in foreign territory with an enthusiasm that was suspiciously overdone. So we dubbed him James Bond.

"And, of course, it may only be 9 pm, but cue the 'I just got dumped and all men are scumbags and we'll get drunk and bitch about it all night' club." Rachel continued her assessment of our patronage for the evening while I fixed James another drink. When I returned my attention to my friend I noticed her awarding me an intriguing look. When my view of the bar shifted again towards the customers, I realized Rachel was holding her breath to see my reaction.

Standing before me was a vision of a woman, despite the red eyes and irate sniffle every now and then. As my vision turned hazy I had to take an awestruck moment to study her, a deep ache settling in my gut as I watched and felt the sorrow radiating from her, yet she looked as beautiful as the first time I saw her, even dressed in torn jeans and a large sweater. I wanted to hug her, no, hold her until all her sadness melted away. I could even picture her curled up on my couch under a fluffy blanket as I brought her hot chocolate.

I froze. Not so much because I was making an idiot of myself for silently staring at my customers, but more so because I felt like an idiot at the warm and fuzzy images flitting through my mind. I was scaring myself.

"We're going to need a round of tequila here, and keep them coming." The blonde I remembered as the giggler ordered, not bothering to really look at me as she joined in with her other two friends in comforting Emily.

"Tequila?" I asked stupidly, blinking as I watched the group of four move to a nearby booth, ignoring my question. I casually watched on in confusion as I went about pouring the shots.

"Prepare yourself, P. This shit is going to get ugly." Rachel snorted next to me as she also observed the scene while placing the shot glasses on a tray to take them over to the girls' table.

I pondered Rachel's words for a minute, trying to picture the ugly scene that might unfold. I didn't struggle much as working late night hours at a bar often brought its own brand of entertainment. I've seen this scene play out before quite a few times. The one with the red eyes is about to get utterly smashed and will most likely do something she can regret the next morning. I've heard that this was the number one cause of one night stands, apparently.

I've never been there before. Oh sure, I've had one or two one night stands, but they were always a sort-of-sober choice. Here I was facing that dilemma again.

The L word. The big L. Love.

All the women I have watched from my perch behind the bar, as they cry tears of regret straight into their brandy, all had one thing in common.

They had been in love.

Only love could cause such a fatal weakness exposed, leading to such a fatal wound to be inflicted, that the only way to recovery started at the bottom of a bottle. They all looked so broken, so angry, so miserably betrayed and I simply could not relate.

If this is what love brings you, I don't want any part of it anyway.

"Another round for the temporary feminists." Rachel interrupted my thoughts as she popped up next to me, then added with a crooked grin, "Want to play a game?"

"Bring it." I chuckled, knowing Rachel well enough to already regret my agreement.

"Twenty bucks to place your bet. Why did he dump her; how many drinks before she vomits; and who is she going home with tonight?" Rachel's grin was positively evil. Another oxymoron.

"Rache, you still owe me fifty for that thing the other day and I really need to buy some food." I rolled my eyes at her, enjoying how teasing turned her into a 2-year old.

"Fine! If you win you can have all my tips for the night. If I win, I'll only owe you thirty." Her voice went from whiney, to insistent, to excited all before the end of her first sentence.

I pondered for a moment. Everything about this little bet was wrong. I realize that I may not know how Emily is feeling, but I understood enough to know that what we were doing was entirely insensitive.

"Okay." I shamefully caved another moment later. Honestly, it was hard for me to feel sorry for Emily. I wasn't quite sure, but I know what I was feeling was just as inappropriate as Rachel's bet.

I was...relieved. Almost happy.

Don't get me wrong, seeing her like this was painful. But... Emily was single.

And straight, the back of my mind kindly reminded me.

"He was the biggest fool on earth and cheated on her, which is why they broke up. I bet she caught him red-handed too." I relent and deliver my two cents after Rachel's incessant foot tapping got too annoying. "She'll feel really sick, but won't actually vomit because she's a champ. And..." I paused for a second as I scanned the bar, my stomach making weird and uncomfortable twists as I contemplated my final wager. "I reckon she goes home alone or with one or more of them." I nodded confidently as I indicated Emily's friends.

I didn't feel too confident, however.

I felt worried. And anxious, irritable.

She can't leave with a stranger.

"I respect your intuition, P, but in this case you couldn't be more wrong." She giggled and it made me nervous. "Well I say that the CHICK she was dating turned out to be a narcissistic, manipulative bitch and left her for some guy. About another three shots and two drinks more and she'll be praying to the porcelain gods, because she's way too pretty to be able to hold her drink as well. And I believe that she'll be going home with..." She scanned the bar and the little that it offered, then her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as they settled on me.

"Right, she can sleep between me and Shay. Maybe we'll even cuddle." I spat at her sarcastically.

"Ooh, maybe you could have a threesome! I bet Shay would totally be up for that shit." She leaned over the counter and rolled her tongue selaciously at me, while bouncing on one foot in her excitement.

"God, you guys are taking forever!" That bubbly blonde made me jump in surprise as she popped up next to me across the bar, soon followed by the rest of the group, including Emily.

Emily, who finally looked at me for the first time that night, eyes a familiar glossy tint, finally recognized me.

I held my breath.

"Paige…" She recalled my name timidly, then with much more surety, "Paige!"

I waved.

Dork.

"Wait, PAIGE Paige?" The small fox-faced brunette in the group chirped.

"Ooh, who's PAIGE Paige?" Rachel clasped her hands on the bar top with growing interest.

"PAIGE?! From The Lounge Paige?!" The blonde piped up, mouth agape as she stared a hole into my face.

I could feel my cheeks and ears on fire.

Luckily, I noticed, so were Emily's.

"So, more tequila then?" I feigned a smile before sending Rachel a pointed look. Her grin only broadened as she packed out the shots I was serving.

Glancing back to Emily, she was mouthing me a pained sorry, yet her dimples were on show like two diamonds... No, wait. Diamonds are far too shallow and mainstream for a girl like Emily. Two emeralds encrusted within smooth copper like on the headband of a wealthy shiksa. Her lips moved and I was lost in their curves like a rowboat swallowed by the ocean waves.

I watched her smile slowly grow and blinked as I could swear I heard some annoying harp music in the background.

Then I realized everyone was silently staring at me and I couldn't help but once again curse the gods of embarrassment.

Maybe because I AM the God of Embarrassment.

"What?" I bet I looked like a fish.

"Have shots with us." Emily repeated once I was paying proper attention.

Rachel passed me a tequila and that was it.

Somehow the conversation picked up and hopped around from one random humorous topic to another as we continued sharing shots. Laughter rose up and spilled all around us as the night drew on and we got progressively more drunk. The bar soon cleared out but we didn't notice.

And somehow, miraculously, we managed to avoid the massive pink elephant in the room.

That was until my dearest Rachel suggested we play truth or dare and I could practically see the devil on her shoulder.

"So... Emily." Rachel raised her brow. "Truth or dare?"

Emily could barely keep her eyes open, but she was a fighter. "Truth."

"What's your ex's name?" Rachel grinned at me. We still had a bet to settle.

Emily frowned as if she was thinking very hard, then answered with little surety, "Ben...?"

I coughed.

I was right, yet it felt terrible. I guess that somehow I still held onto some hope that I stood a chance.

Wait, what? I have a girlfriend!

"Wait, why did you struggle with that question?" I sucked in sharply as the words slipped from my tongue before I could bite them back.

"Well, we broke up a long time ago." Emily scowled, not understanding the problem.

"Then what was tonight about?" Rachel pressed.

"No, hang on, too many questions. Emily, it's your turn." Spencer interjected drunkenly but diplomatically.

"Hah, Paige!" Emily laughed with glee, eyes foggy with innocence. It was adorable. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." I'd rather take some punishment than risk being exposed.

"I dare you to..." Emily glanced around, then laughed as she looked back at me, dimples on full lethal display. "Play the rest of this game without your shirt."

"What?! Come on, can't I just take some nasty shot?" I protested loudly, my stomach bursting into billions of butterflies at the thought of taking off my clothes in front of a bunch of strangers, never even mind in front of Emily.

"Come on P, don't be shy..." Rachel purred as she slipped my jacket from my shoulders, exposing my white vest and the edges of elaborate ink designs on my skin, a full image visible here and there. "Show these ladies your banging bod." Rachel continued as my jacket fell to the floor and her fingers slid suggestively along the hem of my top.

I stood there frozen like the Statue of David, only much less suave.

Paige, God of Awkwardness strikes again. Or Embarrassment. Whatever.

I shut my eyes tightly when I felt the cool air hit my skin, dressed now only in my skinnies and a sports bra. I slowly cracked open one eye, then the other as I felt a surge of heat blaze across my skin.

They were all staring at me, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

"You forgot to mention the tattoos..." Hanna whispered after a couple of excruciatingly long seconds. "And the six pack..." She giggled then and I felt mortified. I prayed for the ground to just open up beneath my feet. Or an asteroid to hit Earth. Really, I wasn't feeling picky.

Emily shook her head slowly then, confused as she uttered, "Those weren't there before."

"Wait, how would you..." Aria started timidly, but an ecstatic Hanna dove in with all the grace of panda bear.

"Oh my god, you DID hook up!" Her finger pointed and shifted rapidly between me and Emily.

"We did not hook up!" Emily and I chimed in unison and stared at each other with big eyes.

"Wait, why would you assume they hooked up?" Rachel twittered excitedly before realization hit her. "Because this sob fest is about a woman, isn't it?" She pointed accusingly at Emily.

I listened with rapt attention for her answer, but used the moment of distraction to slip my jacket on over my naked skin. The dare said nothing about my jacket.

"Well duh! Alison!" Hanna answered on Emily's behalf, causing Rachel to slam her fist onto the counter in glee. She had one out of three, but so did I seeing as how Emily hasn't emptied her stomach yet.

"Hanna, have some tact!" Spencer smacked her blonde friend in the arm.

The atmosphere turned almost morbid then as everyone went silent and Emily turned a light shade of pink. Then she was off, rocketing from her stool to the door in two seconds. I didn't think twice about jumping the bar and bolting after her. As I ran I could hear Rachel stopping the other girls from joining and I was thankful.

By the time I got outside she was sitting on the curb with her head between her knees and her fingers thread through her hair - an utterly wounded sight. I approached slowly and took a seat next to her, but kept my distance.

"What is love, anyway? Why is everyone always like, la-dee-dee-love-this and love-la-dee-da-that?" Her speech was comical as she slurred her words and stumbled over the alliteration in her sentence. I couldn't help but smile gently at her. As much of a wreck as she is now in this moment, she's even more breathtakingly beautiful with the raw emotions on display.

"What's so funny? It's true!" She spat in protestation of my reaction. "Love might just as well be synonymous with torture." Her voice dropped to sound more like that of a sad little girl and it took everything within me to not reach out to her. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how she felt.

"I wasted so many years on her..." She sighed and lifted her gaze to meet mine. "Alison." She me of the girl's name, then continued in way of explanation. "We were only freshmen when I first fell for her. She dangled temptation like a forbidden treat in front of my face, then when I tried to take a bite she made me feel ashamed of my feelings." She snorted and shook her head as if considering the irony.

I listened silently as she told me a bit of her coming out story and how difficult it had been. She told me about the girls that helped her come to terms with who she was, as well as how Alison would always pop back into her life whenever things seemed to be settling for Emily, and how Alison would leave devastation in her wake every time.

I tried my best to ease my way into her shoes and I truly felt for her. The more she spoke the clearer it became to me that she was really just a simple girl that enjoyed the common comforts in life. It was clear that she had always expected one of those comforts to be love; a mistake she now seemed to carry like the weight of the world on her shoulders.

We sat there for what felt like hours. Rather, I wasn't even aware of time passing as I was too focused on the ins and outs of Emily's words, happily winding their lines and toeing their edges. Eventually the words faded away but the silence was comfortable. There was a second where our eyes met and another entire conversation was held without the words. There was understanding and trust floating on the particles between us and a sort of magic dispersed throughout the atmosphere. I felt helplessly magnetized and hopelessly mesmerized by the heat emanating from Emily.

I glanced down at her lips and breathlessly watched them move...

"Will you take me home?" She whispered, her eyes downcast, and added, "Please..."

"Yeah, of course." I swallowed hard and nodded quickly, starting to move to my feet when she caught me by the wrist.

"No, I mean..." She took a deep breath and pulled me closer by the sleeve of my jacket. "Take me home... With you..."

The sensation is almost impossible to describe. It was as if though I shot into space on a rocket but left my stomach behind, then crashed into a deep ocean that turned my legs to liquid. Every cell in my body combust into flames, threatening to consume me from inside.

The moment stretched into infinity and the atmosphere crackled between us, charged with what I could only describe as primal desire.

Then she was leaning in and I was outside of my body, watching the scene unfold like a powerless bystander.

Her eyes slowly slid shut the closer she got, but my own were stretched wide beyond measure. It all played out in slow motion: half an inch away; her breath on my lips; her scent seizing my senses...

Then I turned my head and her lips grazed my cheek.

"I'm sorry..." My head dropped onto her shoulder and her warm breath sweeping across my neck was more than I could take.

But I had to.

"I'm sorry, Em... You're... Unbelievably gorgeous... And you're... I just..." I felt her pulling back and dared a look up at her eyes. They were hurt.

I hurt her. My stomach twisted into painful knots. I literally could not stand the thought of hurting this celestial creature.

My hand quickly found its way to her cheek to caress it gently as my forehead leaned in to rest against hers, trying my best to give utterance to my emotions at the time.

"I want... I mean I am... You..." I stumbled like a toddler through a dictionary but forced myself to take a deep breath and try again. "If this had been eight months ago... But I have a girlfriend now... I can't... I can't do this..." No matter how badly I wanted to.

No matter how badly I wanted her.

I don't know much about romantic love, but I once read in some useless 'random facts' tweet that scientifically it took only a few minutes to fall in love with someone. I understood it as a rush of chemicals causing the euphoric feeling, but this euphoria is amongst all the others that eluded me.

Until now...


	3. Lying is the lips' second best

Have you ever felt such a fever for someone that it is all-consuming to the extent where you're barely capable of functioning? It is a fever that makes coffee seem cold and food bland and all other necessities frivolous, because all you can focus on is the memory of her face, the color of her hair, the depth of her eyes...

\- _Hey... What are you up to? xx_

I spent every waking minute after the night at the bar obsessing over Emily.

\- _Hi :) Just drawing. You? xx_

Everywhere I went I looked around for her beautiful face, desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman that has infiltrated every nerve fiber in my body.

\- _What are you drawing? Do you need a model? ;)_

She offered herself to me that night and I rejected her with the last bit of strength I could muster. I realized soon enough that my rejection of her wasn't so much about my relationship status as it was because of being afraid that Emily would regret it. We were intoxicated and I didn't want to be just another drunken mistake. I wanted Emily Fields to want me in the daytime.

\- _I only do nude portraits... ;)_

And then I found out that she did...

She came into the bar again. I had not been on shift, but she left me her number with the manager. It took me a while to contemplate whether to use it or not. A few times I had found myself typing her a message only to delete it before sending. Often it was due to Shay walking into the room, catching me off guard.

Shay.

I tried to rationalize my behavior with Emily in so many different ways. I told myself that Shay and I weren't really exclusive, or not serious enough to worry about it. I told myself that we were already growing apart, unwilling to face the fact that I was actually pushing us apart.

The truth was that the only justification that mattered was that I felt something for Emily that I had never felt for Shay.

I have never believed in love at first or second sight. I laughed at the notion of soul mates and I scoffed at the idea of some sort of serendipitous connection. No one had ever made me believe.

And then there was Emily...

\- _Why do you think I asked, silly? (. )( .)_

\- _Those are you not eyes, are they...? :D_

So eventually I threw all caution to the wind and messaged her one evening when I was home alone. Maybe that was my mistake: I set a principle. We only chatted at nights when the lights were turned down low and the world around us was asleep. It became a virtual cocoon for us to frolick in - a world where only we existed.

It was cute and innocent at first, conversations kept light and fluffy. That soon turned to light flirting, however. And it was my guilty pleasure...

\- _A little lower..._

\- _Those boobs are way too perky! Who has boobs like that that? Such unrealistic expectations._

\- _Would you like to see and have your expectations exceeded? ;)_

My mouth ran dry and the mental image I had was making me blush profusely.

\- _My my, one track mind tonight? :P_

\- _What else could a girl want at 1:30 in the morning?_

\- _Oh I don't know... Breakfast maybe?_

\- _How about breakfast and dessert...?_

No matter how sweet and innocent Emily looked, she was definitely not the girl next door.

\- _I have to sleep actually ;) have to be at work early._

\- _What kind of a bar is open that early?_

\- _I have another job :)_

\- _Gasp! Are you Batman? :O_

\- _Maybe ;)_

\- _That's really sexy..._

\- _Haha! Goodnight Emily... ;)_


	4. The muse wants what the heart desires

**_A/N:_**

Sorry for the short and random updates, but when inspiration strikes who am I to try and contain it or bend it to my will? I'm having a lot of fun writing this fic and although I have a lot of vague ideas, I'm for the most part pretty much reading this fic as you guys are!

Please do comment as I use them to draw ideas from. Who knows, you might end up altering the course of this destiny!

 ** _xxxxxxxxxxxxxx_**

On my way to my next shift at the bar, Shay let me know that she would meet me there and bring me some supper. We hadn't seen each other in a few days as she had spent most of her time preparing for exams, so she wanted to just pop in to see me quick and grab the keys to my apartment where I would meet her later.

I had barely clocked in for my shift when I heard the bell above the door chime, alerting me to my girlfriend's entrance.

I looked up and my heart stood still.

Apparently this was also the night Emily decided to hunt me down and surprise me.

"Hey babe! I've missed you!" Shay bound over and hopped onto the counter in order to lean in and give me a kiss; a kiss I was too distracted to invest in as I saw the sheepish look on Emily's face.

Shay noticed and turned back to face Emily.

"Em, this is the one and only Paige. Babe, this is Emily. We met in class. Remember that extra literature course? Emily is studying English."

Shay was visibly excited and had obviously told Emily about me. I felt guilty for all she didn't know and was about to make up some lame excuse when Emily interjected.

"It's so nice to meet you." Emily decided to go with play-pretend and reached her hand over the counter in greeting. I shook it slowly, unsure what to say next, but Emily quickly filled the gap.

"Shay tells me you're a tattoo artist. That's pretty interesting." The tone of her voice could melt butter.

"Ah I'm only an apprentice at the moment. That's why I have to work two jobs." I shrugged shyly and lowered my hand back to the counter.

"Babe, Em here was thinking of getting a tattoo done. Aren't you in need of more canvases?" Shay bubbled on, unaware of how her choice in words triggered the memory of risky text messages at one in the morning.

"Well I'd be happy to offer up my body, for the sake of art, of course." Emily gave me a smirk that spoke volumes and I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

"So it's settled then." Shay clapped her hands together happily, then hopped to the next topic, leaving my mouth still dry from the images running through my mind.

Why did I have to be such a visual person?

"Babe, I'm taking Em with to your place. We're going to just relax and watch a movie." Shay held out her hand for my keys and I handed them over with a heavy heart.

Emily was going to be in my space.

With my girlfriend.

While I'm at work.

The equation seemed all wrong but there was nothing I could do or say in protestation without Shay figuring out that something was off, as I would normally never have an issue with her socializing with a friend at my place.

I couldn't get the thought out of my head all evening, and it was still stuck in the forefront of my brain as I carefully made my way through the front door at 2 am. The small lamp next to the couch was switched on and sitting by its side, basking in its glow, was Emily Fields.

I moved silently closer, locking my eyes with her gaze and stopped a few feet in front of her. She smiled at me but I scowled when I saw what was resting in her lap. It was my art journal that I used for drawing my tattoo designs.

"That's personal. Not even Shay gets to go through it without supervision." My voice was irritated, though I had the suspicion that my blazing nerves were more because of Emily being in such intimate proximity to my life. I felt exposed and it was making me feel weary and agitated.

"I'm sorry..." Her smile slowly faded, then her eyes were cast down at the journal again. "I didn't actually page through it. It was open on this and I just haven't been able to tear my eyes away."

I stepped slowly closer and sunk into the couch next to her, reaching for my journal to get a better look at what had her so captivated. It was my wolf lady that had been troubling me for weeks, and suddenly I knew why.

It wasn't just some random woman or random wolf. It was Emily.

"Paige I'm sorry!" She uttered in panic as I flew off the couch and over to my desk to grab some drawing tools, but I didn't reply as my hands took over. I was soon back on the couch and furiously started to edit my design as the inspiration flowed through me; energy fed straight into my veins, the source sitting beside me.

Whereas before the woman was wearing the Wolf like a cape, now the wolf was one with the woman, their souls inexplicably connected, looking out at the world with the same eyes. Dark tendrils of hair tangled into thick tufts of fur, while coat markings mingled with tribal paint.

It was finally perfect.

It was perfectly Emily.

"Do you want it?" I finally asked after handing the journal over to Emily and allowing her a few minutes to observe it. I was nervous at first, her silence worrying me. Then I studied the expression on her face and saw that she had found a piece of herself.

"Oh my god, yes..." Her eyes were full of wonderment as they gazed at me, like a hopeful child on Christmas morning.

I had to pause and admire the moment for memory's sake. It was beautiful. The raw emotion painted on Emily's face made her seem almost child-like, giddy and overwhelmed at the best unexpected present in the universe. A golden glow radiated from her and blended with my own energy, bestowing the gentlest touch upon my soul.

And somewhere a butterfly fluttered its wings.

"My planner is at work. I'll phone you tomorrow when I've had a look at it and we can arrange a time." My words grew in excitement and by the end I had a huge smile on my face, one that Emily was reciprocating happily.

Silence slowly crept up on us and thickened the atmosphere.

I watched Emily's eyes dip down to my lips. I knew what she wanted because I could feel it. I could feel her desire and I could feel her pull like a growing sun.

Most of all, the feeling was mutual...

I couldn't anymore. I could not deny myself of her any longer.

The moment slowed down and I pondered the nature of sin and what I was about to do and how I really didn't care...

I felt her breath on my lips, hot and insistent.

I knew her taste before I could even reach her.

I could already taste myself in her heat.

I could...

"Babe, you home?" Shay's voice cut through the air and shattered the bubble Emily and I had nestled ourselves into. We jumped to opposite ends of the couch for good measure.

"Yeah babe, I just came in." I called up to the loft area where Shay was still in bed, clearly very sleepy despite how jarring her voice was to us.

"Okay, Em is sleeping over. Don't bother her." Shay uttered through a yawn and no doubt rolled over and went back to sleep, leaving Emily and I to stare at each other with bated breath.

Finally we managed to relax slightly and I knew it was my cue to exit the situation before something happened that we couldn't take back. I moved from my seat and paused, thinking for a minute before I turned back to Emily and whispered to her.

"I just... I don't know... Are you here right now because of Shay, or ultimately because of me?" I arched my brows slightly and waited for her answer; an answer that would probably alter the course of my future forever.

The irony was, however, that I wasn't sure which answer I wanted to hear more.

"Paige… Don't make me answer that... Please... " Emily's features became pained and filled with concern and I couldn't quite understand why.

I let it be and let myself seek solace in bed, drifting off to the thoughts swarming around my head: Did she not want to admit that I was it, afraid she might seem not only callous, but also a little crazy; or did she not want to tell me that she had a genuine friendly interest in Shay and that this is all a twisted coincidence, but risk hurting me.

I was soon floating through torrid dreams and sweet moments of regret. But all I remembered when I woke was the sensation of being caught in a spider's web.


	5. Hypocrisy and glass houses

You know what? It is what it is...

Cheating. The big scary taboo. No one wants to man-up and acknowledge it for what it is: the centre piece of the damn room. It's standing there, casting shadows over your mind. You can't blame denial and you cannot escape it.

Sooner or later we all do it...

We all cheat.

And there I was - getting absolutely drenched from the sudden downpour. We were outside The Brew after closing time and her flesh was hot against my skin while the cool bricks dug into my back...

But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here.

It all started with a phone call...

Xx...xX

"Hey babes!" I was accustomed to Shay dropping in at the studio from time to time when she's on her way past. My day job was at The Inky Needle (The Tin for short), a tattoo studio in a grunge meet steampunk style, situated in a bit of a hipster haven of a neighborhood. It was a dream come true when I got accepted to join the crew and start my apprenticeship, as the studio was well known and popular around the whole of town.

Just as I shared my night-time job with my best friend Rachel, I share my day job with my other best friend, Brian. Brian was a beautiful oddity: a wise and gentle soul, wrapped up in child-like delight and encased in a chiseled and tattooed body, that also preferred other chiseled and tattooed bodies, sexually.

"Damnit Shay, what's with you being in here breaking my concentration again?" Brian snapped playfully at Shay.

"Like it matters, dude. You're probably just inking your junk again." Shay lobbied right back at him, picking up their usual banter with ease.

"Guys, some of us are actually trying to work here..." I stopped my gun and glanced up as I gently wiped the mandala I was busy with. I sent Shay a kiss and went back to the lines I had to finish.

Some twenty minutes later I was having a cigarette outside on the patio with Shay's arms wrapped around my neck. She's been weirdly affectionate as of late, which is something rather out of character for her.

It made me worry. Especially when my own affections lay with a girl I've barely even touched.

"So, I was thinking... " Shay purred into my ear, "Maybe you could get off a little early today... You know, to come home and... Get off." She giggled like a naughty school girl and it caused the hair on my arms to stand on end.

The sensation was confusing. There was arousal, sure, but there was also a distinct hint of disdain.

It was a terrible word to use in conjunction with my girlfriend. Perhaps I was using it with referral to my own true desires.

My true desires did not involve Shay.

"McCullers!" Brian called from just inside the glass sliding doors that entered into the studio, holding up the receiver to indicate that I have a call.

Saved by the bell.

After untangling myself from Shay with an apologetic look, I skipped off and flicked my smoke in the ashtray on the coffee table on my way inside to take the phone from Brian.

"Paige speaking."

"Hey, it's me." Her voice reverberated through the line and caused my body to tremble inadvertently.

"Oh, hey... You... " I faltered and glanced towards Shay, unsure whether I should be transparent about who I was talking to. I had no actual reason to feel guilty, but I was feeling guilty none the less.

"I'm sorry for seeming impatient, but it's been a few days and I'm still waiting for your call." I could hear the smile in her voice and it made my heart trip all over itself.

"My call...?" I repeat stupidly and swallow hard.

"About booking that tattoo?" Her tone climbed an octave higher. She suddenly sounded so uncertain.

"Oh yeah, of course! Hang on, let me grab my diary!" I was sure the excitement was clear in my voice.

I was excited. But the truth is that I was also terrified, which was exactly the reason why I hadn't contacted her. I knew the tattoo would take at least a good five or six hours and the thought of my hands on Emily's skin for that long... Yeah.

"Okay, I can fit you in... Friday afternoon. How does that sound?" I held my pen ready, hovered above the page, anxiously waiting for her confirmation.

"I'm supposed to have Script Writing, but I'm already ahead in my project, so I'm in." She now sounded excited, a certain exuberance emanating from her voice.

"But," she added a hesitant second later, "that means I still have to wait three days before I can see you again..." Her voice grew low and timid and my stomach dropped right with it.

There it was.

Temptation, staring me in the face like a snorting bull.

"Coffee." I spat out quickly, confusing myself as well as Emily, indicated by the squeaky sound she responded with.

"I finish work at six. Are you free?" I glanced guiltily back at Shay, keeping my voice low.

"Are you asking me out?" She teased.

"I'm asking whether you'd like to have a conversation and a cup of coffee in the same vicinity at the same time." I tried my best to keep my grin in check.

"Sure. I'll be at The Brew. Meet me there." She agreed with delight, yet maintained a hint of suggestion.

"Okay later. Bye." I whispered and held my bottom lip between my teeth as I leaned slightly on the receiver, now snugly fit back in its retainer.

Sighing deeply, I mentally prepared myself for a few seconds before making my way back to Shay and Brian out on the patio, soaking up some late afternoon sun and bickering like siblings.

"Sorry about that, babe. But to come back to earlier, I can't. I have to work late." I wrapped my arms around her waist as I tried to swallow down my guilt in order to soften the blow for her.

"But you've got no bookings scheduled." Brian popped up obliviously, making me clench my jaw as I shot daggers at him.

"Yeah, that was the guy who canceled. Begged me to keep our booking last second." I cocked my head at my friend before turning my gaze to Shay, forcing my eyes to soften.

The sharp glint in Brian's eye that I could see right before I turned away told me that he caught on.

"Aww fine, but you owe me..." Shay leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, then another and held it a little longer. I breathed her in, but it felt like I was about to choke on the air infiltrating my senses.

It was all so familiar, yet now it felt wrong somehow.

I was going to go to hell.

Shay left and we wrapped up not too long after. I was busy packing my sling bag when I could feel Brian's eyes drilling into my skull.

"Just say it." I grumbled after glancing at him briefly.

"You lied to your girlfriend." He arched a brow at me.

"Captain Obvious, everyone." I got snappy when I felt defensive. And Brian knew it.

He smirked in amusement. "What's her name?"

"Why do you assume that?" I scowled at him in return.

"I'm the one who answered the phone, remember?" He was clearly very pleased with himself.

"She's just a friend and we're just having coffee. I need a bit of a breather away from Shay. She's been a bit... "

"Clingy, I've noticed. But P, you do realize it's probably because her instincts are warning her that something is up."

I sighed deeply, knowing that he was right.

"I just need some time to figure it out." I shrugged in agitation as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

"Paige." The tone of his voice made me stop and turn towards him. His voice insisted. "Don't be a dick. It doesn't look good on you."

I simply stared and swallowed, then nodded and walked out the door.

Yep. Definitely going to hell.

Xx...xX

Her scent infiltrating my nostrils was sweet and wet as her warm tongue rolled into my mouth, cool rain water rolling down her faces and mingling with the kiss. It took a second for my rational mind to kick in, but when it did, I realized that I was indeed there.

I had just entered hell.


	6. Where is my mind?

The bell above the door of The Brew alerted Emily to my presence even before I could spot her where she was seated on the sofa in the small lounge area. I hadn't seen her in a few days - since we almost kissed on my couch over a tattoo design - which only made the swarm of butterflies in my stomach more furious.

She was dressed down in a relaxed outfit consisting of washed out jeans, a black vest and a gray cardigan. She was radiating warmth and she looked completely innocent. I had to thoroughly contemplate whether appearances could be trusted. My doubts were cast aside quickly, however, when she finally smiled at me and all was good and well and right in the world.

I swear that smile could save all the world from any affliction.

"Sorry I'm late. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long." I let my bag drop from my shoulder onto the bohemian throw rug and made myself comfortable in the oversized lounge chair adjacent to Emily.

She shrugged and leaned back in her spot, sinking comfortably into the couch. "I just got off shift, so your timing is perfect."

"Oh? Where do you work?" I asked curiously while reaching for the menu.

She reached out quickly and placed her hand on top of mine before I could lift the menu. "Here. I'm just waiting for Scott to bring our order. I guessed you were the strong, sweet type?"

I blinked at our hands as I let the fire from her skin spread slowly up my arm. "I'm not sure whether you're referring to my coffee or my character."

"Maybe both." She giggled and leaned back once more, her eyes sparkling at me.

Our coffees soon arrived and I was pleased to find that the ratio Emily had settled on was absolutely perfect. Somehow she managed to read me like a book and I loved it.

I would happily spread my pages for her.

Yes, pun intended.

I feared for a second that my lame thoughts were showing on my face when I realized Emily was staring at me with concern.

"What?"

"What happened to your eye?"

I frowned, now confused as well, and reached for my left eye.

"No, this one."

Her warm palm settled against my cheek as her thumb rubbed over my right cheekbone and all I could do was melt into her touch.

"What is that?" She showed me the black residue where her thumb rubbed it from my face and I quickly realized that I must have smeared ink on myself again.

"Ah shit, sorry. Comes with the territory." I chuckled and rubbed the rest from my face.

She shoved me lightly and cursed under her breath, "Geez, I thought someone had punched you or something!"

"Aww, why, were you about to march into battle for my honor?" I teased as I grabbed my coffee and leaned back in my seat once more.

"I reckon I'd look pretty good in a suit of shiny armor." Her eyes sparkled and I couldn't help but agree. Emily would no doubt look good in a brown paper bag.

"And let me guess, I'm expected to wear the poofy dress?" The image didn't sit right with me.

Apparently the image didn't quite sit all too well with Emily either, judging by the way she wrinkled her nose and bit her bottom lip in an effort to not laugh. "Well if we both wore armor it'd be kind of uncomfortable."

I chuckled and nodded in agreement, then added, "I think armor would be uncomfortable, period."

"Okay we can both wear dresses, if it pleases you." She wagged her perfectly sculpted brows at me.

"You in a dress pleases me. I'll stick to my jeans, thanks." I couldn't help but lick my lips subtly at the picture that infiltrated my mind.

"That's a relief. You look good in them." And evidently she couldn't resist doing the same.

There was a lull in our banter as we simply watched each other, our cheeks glowing wonderfully warm as we bathed in the tingling sensation of the other's scrutiny.

"You are quite the flirt, Miss Fields." I grinned and my eyes pulled into slits beneath my lowered brows as I watched her closely.

She chuckled in return and cocked her head to one side. "I don't see you complaining."

I leaned a little closer, slowly being reeled in. "If I complain, would you stop?"

"Probably not." She was proud of that answer, I could tell.

Yet I was bothered. My smile faded. "And what about your new friend?"

Emily frowned. "My friend?"

I sighed, more in irritation at myself for ruining such a beautiful mood, and ran my hand through my hair with a hint of frustration. "Come on Em... What's the deal with you and Shay?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and took a deep breath, composing herself for a second before she attempted to answer.

"I like her, honestly... As a friend she's really cool. I have fun hanging out with her." Her eyes darted towards me and she leaned forward slightly, elbows coming to rest on her knees.

"Look Paige, I know you suspect that you're the reason I befriended her, but that's not how it happened. I only found out about you halfway through a cup of coffee after our class the one day.

She paused briefly before lowering her voice to continue. "However, I will admit that finding out about you gave me another reason to stick around Shay. I'm not proud of that fact."

I felt a familiar wrench in my gut.

A wrench named 'guilt'.

"Shay has no idea..." I breathed slowly in reply.

"I know..." She said.

"This doesn't seem right..." I lowered my head and leaned even closer towards her.

She reached out to me. Her hand was warm and soft and gentle where it rested on mine. "It's not. But I can't stay away from you..." She whispered and I watched mesmerized as her fingers curled around mine.

"Em..."

My heart was thundering in my ears. I knew that should I reach out to Emily I would not be rejected. I knew that should I invite her back to my place she'll come with me. I knew that should I decide to act on this magnetic connection and all consuming obsession, there'd be no turning back.

"Alison is back."

Wait, what?

What the fuck?

I didn't verbalize myself, but my expression was enough to prompt her to explain the carpet she had so suddenly and so effortlessly yanked from beneath my feet.

"I'm not sure why. She asked to meet with me tomorrow night. But Paige..."

I let go of her hand and leaned back, rubbing my palms restlessly along my jeans. She tried to say something, but it was clear I wasn't listening.

I was seriously just considering cheating on my girlfriend. What the hell was I thinking?

I suddenly jumped to my feet, my skin crawling enough to tell me that I needed to remove myself from the current situation. Fast. "Goodluck Em. I've got to go."

"Paige wait." I could see the pain in Emily's eyes. I could see their deep brown turn glossy. I could see myself simply pulling her close and wrapping her up in my arms.

I could also see how much hurt lay ahead should I do so.

"I'll see you on Friday." I attempted a smile and grabbed my bag. "Thanks for the coffee."

Indeed, what the freaking hell was I thinking.

"Paige? It's like..."

"Three in the morning, I know."

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Yes. Maybe." I sighed deeply and dropped my head into my free hand, the other clutching my phone painfully tight.

"Well it must be something, considering..."

"I need advice." I cut her off.

"From me? Where are Rachel and Brian?"

"They'll judge."

"Dear God, what have you done?"

I sighed...

"I've been having impure thoughts..."


	7. BOOM! There it is!

We all experience lapses in judgement, however some lapses can be more severe than others.

My lapse in judgement was, unfortunately, pretty severe.

In fact, it literally altered the course of my destiny.

My lapse in judgment: asking my lying, cheating, bitch of an ex-girlfriend for advice.

 **Xx...xX**

"But P, that's not cheating." Brian waved his hand at me, seemingly almost irritated that my adventures were made such a fuss over.

Rachel smacked the table top, causing our drinks to hop precariously. "Of course it is! There was a tongue in her mouth that wasn't Shay's! Slice that cake however you want, it all tastes the same."

"Guys, care to weigh in? From a couple's perspective." Brian gestured to his two friends, Caleb and Toby. The two pretty boys seemed as heterosexual as Brian on the surface, but had been sharing very gay feelings for about two years after meeting and falling in love while dating a pair of best friends.

"I'm going to side with Brian on this one. What was Paige supposed to do? It's not her fault." Caleb gave his answer and shrugged coolly before looking to his boyfriend.

"I don't know... I can see the validity in both arguments. Okay wait... So she pushed you against the wall and leaned in?" Toby watched me closely and I could see the gears turning in his head.

"Yes." I stated simply.

"And you immediately tried to push her away?" He probed further.

I paused and felt my face flush with guilt and embarrassment. "Well, you see..."

"Jesus P, just tell the story again. And no bullshit." Rachel pointed a finger threateningly in my face.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

 **Xx…………………………………xX**

I woke up the morning after my coffee date with Emily, and my misguided late night phone call, with a huge hangover. Apparently I had been sipping a bottle of Jack all night and had about half of the amber liquid coursing through my veins still.

I got up and dragged my ass to work.

The day passed in a haze. I felt myself going through the motions physically, while mentally my mind was playing the 'All Emily All the Time' show on repeat.

Unfortunately for me, there were gag reels of how she faked her feelings for me, and an exclusive director's cut where the viewer finds out that Emison is really endgame.

It was a twisted dream and I found myself wanting to wake up from my living nightmare.

Maybe that's why I was desperate enough to phone Cassie. And we all know desperation makes you do ugly things.

Cassie's words kept floating through my foggy mind in the background...

"Paige, she'd be so lucky to have you. I just know it."

"Sounds like you have it bad for this girl... Do you?"

"You should just tell her how you feel. Who can say no to you?"

"Shay was never really a good match for you."

"Maybe you just needed Shay for a while to realise what's really important and to remember what real love is... "

Her words were uncharacteristically sweet as sugar and covered in honey. Her voice was melted chocolate.

It made me slightly uncomfortable, which was why I was glad I hadn't divulged any details to her and kept the situation very generalized.

"I think I'm going to do it, Cass. Tomorrow night. The Brew. I will take destiny into my own hands." My voice trembled with doubt.

I had to create a little mantra for myself to try and stay focused on the goal ahead:

Alison doesn't deserve her. But neither do I.

But I can't rest til I give it a try.

Come what may.

I want what's mine.

The mantra made me feel good, albeit a little silly. But then it started to bother me, and I started to doubt all over again.

Why was I choosing to pursue Emily while I was dating Shay? Why was I so perfectly willing to go head to head with Alison, but I couldn't be bothered to give my relationship with Shay a decent shot?

I could only come to one conclusion: I was such an asshole.

So I wiped the sleep from my eyes and pushed myself through a bowl of soggy cornflakes. I found the cleanest shirt on the overflowing chair and rinsed my mouth. I slipped past Shay with no kiss goodbye.

I felt guilty on the entire buss ride to the studio.

I messaged Shay and forced myself to remember that I do have feelings for her, and tell her that I miss her.

I didn't think about her again for the rest of the day.

Tattoo.

Smoke.

Tattoo.

Home.

Food.

Shower.

Smoke.

Bar.

Smoke.

Drink.

At this stage I started to chicken out. I realized that I couldn't do this. I knew that the world would change forever. And it scared me.

It was a dead night, so I left early and looked at my watch as I stepped out the door. It was only 10:15 and I knew Emily's shift at The Brew would only end at 11:00.

I looked up at the heavy black clouds hanging in the charcoal sky when I heard the thunder released by the build up of friction and tension.

I sighed and went home.

Walk.

Smoke.

Sigh.

Home.

Contemplate sleeping on the couch as to not wake Shay.

End up crawling into bed and holding her.

She snores.

And I'm up again.

And Emily kept smiling at me from the corner of my eyes. Taunting me. Haunting me.

"Hey P, I just wanted to wish you luck with tonight. I hope all your dreams come true." Cassie injected me with the final bit of enthusiasm I needed that afternoon, and it started flowing back to me now.

"Thanks Cass. I needed this." I smiled wearily into the phone.

"Does she know you're going to see her, or will she be surprised?" Cassie chirped excitedly.

"I let her know where I'll be. I'm just not sure whether she got my message..." I pulled my phone from my ear to look at the screen where Emily's Whatsapp chat screen was open and I could still only make out one tick next to the message I had sent her about an hour before.

"Oh don't worry... I'm pretty sure she got the message…" Cassie cooed in reassurance.

So there I was - unable to sleep next to Shay, on my way to The Brew to seek out Emily.

What happened then happened fast and in the most confusing sequence of events. You could hardly fault me on my confusion.

It started to rain. Only a light drizzle.

The first thing I noticed at The Brew was the low lighting and complete lack of cars, save for two. I approached the door and the 'Closed' sign was hanging proudly against the inside of the glass.

It thundered overhead and the rain came down harder.

I looked past the sign to the back and immediately spotted the mixture of blonde and black hair.

It thundered. Loudly.

My heart stopped and I quickly stepped back and around the corner where I would be hidden behind a wall.

The rain was cold against my flushed skin.

I slumped over and quietly gasped for breath.

And that was it.

 **Xx…………………………………….xX**

"So there I was - getting absolutely drenched from the sudden downpour. Her flesh was hot against my skin while the cool bricks dug into my back. Her scent infiltrating my nostrils was sweet and wet as her warm tongue rolled into my mouth, cool rain water rolling down her face and mingling with the kiss. It took a second for my rational mind to kick in..."

My friends all stared at me in a mixture of confusion, disbelief, and a hint of amusement.

"See? Not. Her. Fault." Caleb emphasized, but Toby quickly shot him a look that told him to keep quiet.

"So before your rational mind kicked in, did you respond to the kiss?" Toby enquired.

I dropped my head in shame and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"But you didn't know it was Cassie you were kissing, right?" Brian asked.

Rachel quickly interjected. "That's besides the point! Whether she thought she was kissing Cassie or Emily or Lindsey Fucking Shaw, the principle is still the same. She participated! Right Paige?"

Damn you, Rachel.

The debate ended there.

"So why don't you just use this opportunity to end it with Shay? I think it's time, P." Toby shared his ever endless wisdom.

 **Xx………………………………xX**

I did end things with Shay. She was hurt. It hurt me.

She deserved better than me. I know that now. Perhaps Cassie did her a favor, even if she doesn't see it that way.

And she definitely didn't see it that way, which lead us to the following predicament...

"Hey Em, everything okay? It's two in the morning." I rubbed my eyes sleepily as I opened my front door for her in confusion.

She stepped past me and as the blur subsided from my vision, I turned to find her cheeks streaked with angry tears, some still brimming at the corners of her eyes.

"You hooked up with your ex? You give ME the third degree about acting on our MUTUAL attraction, but you happily let THAT woman stick her tongue down your throat?"

She was seething. I was shocked.

Apparently I had forgotten that Shay and Emily were actual friends now.

My stomach churned. The words broiled up my throat before I could stop them.

"I saw you! With Alison. I went to The Brew that night for YOU. To tell you that I wanted YOU! Only to find you tangled up with Alison! And you're giving me grief about MY ex?"

Emily stared at me in stunned silence, a deep frown etched onto her brow.

The seconds ticked by like seasons.

Then.

"Tangled? You mean talking? Like I told you the day before she wanted to do?" I could see the hurt coloring her eyes and it stung even more than the hurt I saw in Shay's eyes.

"What happened?" I swallowed.

"I would have told you everything, Paige. But now... It's none of your fucking business." She spat.

The sound of the slamming front door echoed loudly throughout the silent apartment.


	8. Wrong Place, Wrong Time

**A/N: Sorry about the choice to end this chapter where I did... BUT what can I say? Stay tuned!**

 **Xx...xX**

"I can't fucking believe you got me arrested!" Emily slammed her hands against the bars separating us and stared daggers through my skull.

This wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I said we needed to talk...

 **Xx………………………………….xX**

So the day came around that I had made an appointment with Emily to get her tattoo done.

I was an anxious mess and considered canceling, but the masochistic side of me wanted to see Emily.

Trapped.

Under my needle and under my scrutiny.

She'd have to talk to me, give me a chance to explain to her what had really happened. There'd be nowhere for her to escape.

Alas, as I watched the minutes pass by on the cog-and-wire designed wall clock, I eventually had to face the real probability that she wouldn't show up.

"I'm sorry I'm late." And suddenly she was there, yanking me from my haze, nearly causing me to topple from the chair I had been riding back on.

"Hey! You came!" I slammed my feet into the floor and jumped up, both surprise and my lack of balance propelling me upward.

"Was I not supposed to? Did you cancel?" She looked concerned.

I was confused, to say the least.

"Of course not! I just... Never mind." I smiled at her genuinely and ushered her to my station. Perhaps this talking thing wouldn't be as hard as I was anticipating.

"You didn't think I'd want to see you." But this girl is smart and it made me bite my tongue as my cheeks grew warm.

"Yeah well..." I shrugged and indicated for her to take a seat on the bed. "What else was I supposed to expect? You were late, so I just assumed..."

She scoffed and sat down. "I had a friend to see to this morning. I lost track of time."

I don't know if it was just my imagination, but I was so sure that the word 'friend' had a certain inflection to it that sent shivers down my spine.

Alison.

"I see." I nodded solemnly and went to work preparing my work bench. "Where do you want it?"

"That's forward." She smirked.

Was she seriously flirting with me?

"Uhh, I meant the tattoo..." I blushed further and showed her the design I had already drawn to carbon before she arrived.

She indicated for me to extend the room divider that would prevent other people in the shop from looking into our booth.

I gulped, but did so.

She then proceeded to untie a flimsy string at the side of her flowing Gypsy pants to reveal the delicate black lace of some pair of heartstopping underwear stretching over her hip. She then shifted the material and retied the string on the inside of her thigh so that only her one leg was exposed.

"Here." She whispered and ran her fingers gently over the caramel expanse of silken skin on the outside of her upper thigh.

I fainted...

Not really, but it was damn close!

I forced myself through the motions of applying lubricant and pressing the carbon, clearing my throat awkwardly as we waited for it to dry properly in silence. I took out my inks and needles and tested my gun.

Emily simply watched my every move as if I was being examined on my technique. I knew at this stage I'd flunk bedside manner.

"Are you ready?" I steadied my hand, gun cocked, so to speak.

"Will it hurt?" She asked timidly.

"Most likely, but I'll take care of you..."

It was like we were having a conversation about far more intense things than tattoos.

She smiled and nodded, and I got to work.

It took me half the lines to pluck up the courage to start a conversation with her, and the other half for me to figure out what exactly to say. The line job didn't take too long, but it was a good hour or so before we could take a break.

A whole hour spent in silence.

This was super awkward and I could feel it spreading over my skin in uncomfortable goosebumps.

Emily visited the restroom while I had a smoke on the patio. Brian eyed me like a hawk with just the cheekiest little smile etched into the corner of his mouth. He was enjoying the show after I had filled him in on what had happened after I last spoke to the gang.

When I finally moved back to my booth, mentally preparing myself to finally speak with Emily, I found her ready on the bed with a set of earphones blaring loud music in her ears.

I cursed myself.

I continued the job and watched as her face contorted every now and then when I hit a particularly sensitive spot, but she took the shading like a champion.

I wanted to congratulate her, but she had spent that next hour and a half with her music in her ears, leaving me to get lost in her luxurious skin. I hated the fact, at that moment, that I had to wear gloves. I felt robbed of a sensation I was sure was vital to my existence.

We took another break and Emily went to go make herself some coffee while I went for another cigarette.

I realized then, as if a stroke of lightning just fucked me up, that the less interested Emily Fields seemed to be, the more I wanted her.

We went back for the final color highlights and white accents and spent another 45 minutes doing nothing but making awkward eye contact. I calculated about 15 minutes to finish off when she finally removed her earphones.

"It looks absolutely stunning, Paige." She smiled warmly at her tattoo and then at me.

I felt my throat melt into my gut and shook my head with a sheepish smile. "A stunning tattoo for a stunning girl..." I felt my ears go up in flames at my brazen vocalization.

"Paige…" Emily cautioned and I swallowed hard before cutting her off.

"Em, please, we need to talk..."

She eyed me uncertainly.

My stomach dropped further.

I definitely wasn't cut out for this 'playing hard to get' crap.

"Look Paige. I don't want to give you the wrong impression... But... " She sighed and I shook my head to halt her explanation.

"But it's not going to work out. Gotcha." I shrugged hard and wiped her tattoo clean before applying tattoo goo to it and wrapping it up.

"Paige, just, listen." She slowly moved from the bed, careful not to graze her tattoo. "I damn well love this tattoo, I think it's gorgeous work." She touched it tentatively with the tips of her fingers. "But honestly, I'm still mad at you."

"That's why I want to talk Em!" I jumped quickly and added, though more softly, "Please give me a chance to explain."

She eyed me again with that same uncertainty.

"Fine..."

 **Xx…………………………………..xX**

"Paige, this is Shay. You better come fetch your shit before I drop it on the sidewalk. I know how much you love your Metallica vinyls."

The voice message beeped in Paige's pocket.


End file.
